The Only News... is really no news...

The agency emailed today to tell us that the person they now believe is Samantha's birth mother is coming to the transition house on Friday to verify that this is infact the child she relinquished. Our agency has requested a new court date. They have also requested that Samantha have all new medical tests, and then after they meet with the mom, they will create an entirely new profile. I still don't know my daughter's birth name.

This has been unbelievably hard. We knew there was a very good chance our case could fail the first time through - it happens to a lot of people. We certainly never played out this scenario, though. For the last 24 hours I find that the littlest things make me well up and start to cry. Every time I think of her - stuck there even longer, I get so sad. How could this happen? We got her referral in September. Why didn't something happen sooner that would have shed light on the situation? Why, when I kept asking about the age discrepancy didn't anyone probe further? UGH. I am such an optimist, and I am really struggle to look at this as a glass half full right now. Maybe I will get there, but I am a long way away right now. And... I apparently won't have any more answers for another week...

Crushed

We did not pass. Not only did we not pass, we have to start over - sort of. Apparently the orphanage switched at least two kids during the intake process. So... our "8 month old" who clearly wasn't an 8 month old really wasnt - it wasn't even her correct paperwork. So, the birthdad listed showed up for court and basically said "that is not my kid". After a little investigation, it became clearer (still fairly muddy) that none of the paperwork was my little girls' (except her weight - the one thing they apparently got right). Apparently she has a living birthmother, but the father is unknown. Now they have to retest her, get her paperwork straight, get a new court date assigned, get a new letter from MOWA, contact and find the mother, and get her to court. And a judge has to show up, and show up in a good mood.

My poor baby has been called by the wrong name for the last 4 months. Her whole world was turned upside down, and no one could even comfort her by the correct name. That is killing me. I don't even know what her birth name is. I don't know a single thing about her... except that I have held her, and kissed her, and in my last moments with her in November, she called me mama and gave me a kiss on the lips. Thankfully, god brought me to her in November...