May the Tide Turn in 2010

Wow, it is January 2010. How did that happen? It is 27 degrees outside and while I hate to wish away time, I am ready for spring. This was a rough holiday season, and I struggled to hide my sadness. I just couldn't jump whole-heartedly into the holidays without Samantha being home. We started staring at her picture in September! Two weeks from today we head to court again - 5 full weeks after our first attempt. We received that last of the correct paperwork today and have to sign a new referral acceptance letter, since we accepted the referral officially for the 8 month old who is now apparently living with a different family. I think part of my holiday blues was mourning, once and for all, the idea that I am not bringing home a baby. Having held sweet Samantha in my arms, I can't imagine not bringing her home, don't get me wrong. But I had to return the crib bedding and I gave away several outfits I had bought her. The girl is wearing a 3T!!! I know those feelings will vanish when she is finally here and I can concentrate on all that she is, rather than what she is not (or what she was). I was sure when we got the call in September that we would have her here for Christmas. So, her absence just made me sad. Then, we lost the January 6th court date, since our case number changed. The so called "expedited" date they were hoping for is the 18th. I have a friend who went to court two weeks after us, failed, and got a new date 2 weeks before us. What is up with that? I feel like we must have ticked off someone in Ethiopia!!!!!!

I am just ready. Ready for her smile and cute little body to wake me up in the morning with the greatest hugs ever. I can't believe it has been almost 2 months since I have seen her! We got some wonderful pictures (thank you Staci!) and it is great to see her smiling in them all. She is growing up!

So... I will quit whining (ok, maybe not for two more weeks). I pray we pass on the 18th - I will really struggle if we don't.